Clothing for the
Sword Obsessed
Dark HEMA clothing, hand drawn by real artists and grounded in historical fencing.
Shirts from 29,99 €
Shipping from the EU to 187 countries
US Shop coming soon
Real human artists
Hand drawn artwork. No AI. No stock art.
Made by HEMA people
Created by active practitioners.
30 day returns
Not satisfied? Send it back.
Fulfilled by Spreadshirt
Printing, delivery and service.
Design 01
HEMA Black
The classic color that started everything. White logo, black cloth, double-sided print, zero compromises. No navy blue, no pastel pink, no ‘summer vibes’. Just the grim uniform of every failed garage band, underground salle, and corpse-painted warrior. If you don’t wear black, are you even doing HEMA?
You don’t choose black. Black chooses you.
Specializing in extreme metal artwork and logos, Robi Muharom has crafted hundreds of distinctive band logos for artists and projects worldwide.
Be advised: his Instagram feed is packed with graphic, gore soaked artwork and is absolutely not safe for work.
Design 02
Legion of the Puffypants
Joachim Meyer was not known for his restraint, neither in the length of his writing nor the amount of fabric in his pants.
This design pays homage to the six weapons of his fencing book and forges them into one cohesive legion that is unmistakably Meyer in style.
This piece is for fencers who appreciate the full scale of his work: ambitious, demanding, richly detailed, and impossible to reduce to something neat or small.
Having worked with renowned metal bands such as Mayhem, Darkthrone, and Arkona, as well as the Party.San Open Air, Maciej brings a dark visual style that stands in sharp contrast to the sometimes whimsical woodcuts of Meyer’s fightbook.
At the same time, his work captures the energy and dynamics of the original guards with striking precision.
Design 03
Under Liechtenauer's Spell
One who left behind only his name, a few verses, and centuries of people arguing over what he meant.
Johannes Liechtenauer created an art that is still at the core of historical fencing today. His words became an obsession, feeding an endless cycle of study, interpretation, and dispute.
This design is about influence that carries on through the ages. Made for anyone who imagines the old masters are still watching, still judging, and are still disappointed in your footwork.
Khoirul’s precise line art is the perfect way to bring the old master back to life. His work carries Liechtenauer’s commanding presence through the centuries and into the heart of the modern HEMAist.
Design 04
The Cult of Destreza
Your footwork will not become divine. But you might. A robed figure stands before the sacred circle of La Verdadera Destreza. Geometry, steel, and silent devotion. For those who treat Spanish Rapier fencing just seriously enough.
Viltisvm is a master of the occult, the supernatural and the robed figurine. His work breathes mystery through and through. The perfect artist to bring even more mystery into the footwork diagrams of Destreza.
Design 05
Coming soon?
Support the Cult
First, buy some shirts, otherwise there will be no further designs. A shocking business model, we know.
Then, join our newsletter to vote on designs, and help shape the future of HEMA Hell Apparel. Almost like Democracy, but with better taste.
Bring Us Your Ideas
Got a great idea? Throw it into this form. A description is enough. We will absolutely look at it, but taste remains a cruel and selective god.
Only the ideas that truly appeal to us and actually match our style will be forged into shirts. The rest gets joyfully sacrificed to the void.
Help Choose the Next HEMA Hell Design
Vote on upcoming designs, see new releases first, and help decide what gets made. No productivity hacks. No inspirational quotes. Just HEMA apparel and the occasional descent into darkness.
If there is no newsletter signup here just deactivate your adblocker for a minute. We have no ads anyway.
Privacy is dead, but we still won’t sell your data.
What the hell is HEMA Hell Apparel?
We fuse Historical European Martial Arts with Metal Aesthetics to create streetwear for the Sword Obsessed. Our shirts will not improve your fencing, but you’ll look incredible while doubling.
You will find no AI slop here! Every design contains the blood, sweat, and tears of a real human artist. Every shirt is printed on high quality cotton, and shipped with zero regrets.
Made by real humans for anyone who appreciates bright steel and a dark style in their daily lives.
Join the Cult
Who is behind this?
Obviously, we’re not just some randos who googled Metal and HEMA between sips of pumpkin spice latte. We’ve bled and bruised in both scenes longer than some of you have been concussing each other.
Alexander
HEMAIST, Podcaster, Author
Alexander started HEMA in 2011, when he co-founded a club in southern Germany where he teaches, launched Schwertgeflüster the longest running HEMA podcast in the world, wrote a book on the Schielhau and spent far too much time competing in Longsword and Rapier.
Alexander is a connoisseur of Progressive and Black Metal, which explains both his taste in music and his suspicious tolerance for blast beats, misery, and songs that last eleven minutes.
Lydia
HEMAIST, Designer, Author
Lydia started HEMA in 2009 with longsword and later added rapier to her list of stabby weapons. She is fueled by hatred and black (tea) magic to design things that look far better than most Meyer pants. For example a cookbook for adults featuring suspiciously cute dragons, and a HEMA training journal so you can no longer blame anyone else for your incompetence.
If she’s not doing HEMA, you find her at Power and Heavy Metal concerts singing along with metalheads twice her age.
Uncomfortable Questions
When is the Release?
Now! Go forth and buy our shirts. Your fencing may not improve, but your wardrobe certainly will. More designs are on the way.
Where do you ship?
We currently ship from the EU to 187 countries. If your country is listed below, you can order from us today.
We’re also working on our US shop, which will let us sell directly in the United States and expand shipping to additional destinations like Australia.
Shipping countries:
- Åland Islands
- Albania
- Algeria
- Andorra
- Angola
- Anguilla
- Antigua and Barbuda
- Armenia
- Aruba
- Austria
- Azerbaijan
- Bahamas
- Bahrain
- Bangladesh
- Barbados
- Belarus
- Belgium
- Belize
- Benin
- Bermuda
- Bhutan
- Bolivia
- Bosnia and Herzegovina
- Botswana
- Brasil
- British Virgin Islands
- Brunei Darussalam
- Bulgaria
- Burkina Faso
- Burundi
- Cambodia
- Cameroon
- Canada
- Canary Islands
- Cape Verde
- Cayman Islands
- Central African Republic
- Chad
- Chile
- Colombia
- Comoros
- Congo
- Cook Islands
- Costa Rica
- Croatia
- Cyprus
- Czech Republic
- Democratic Republic of the Congo
- Denmark
- Dominican Republic
- Ecuador
- Egypt
- El Salvador
- Equatorial Guinea
- Eritrea
- Estonia
- Ethiopia
- Falkland Islands
- Faroe Islands
- Finland
- France
- Gabon
- Gambia
- Georgia
- Germany
- Ghana
- Gibraltar
- Greece
- Greenland
- Grenada
- Guam
- Guatemala
- Guernsey
- Guinea
- Guinea-Bissau
- Guyana
- Hong Kong
- Hungary
- Iceland
- India
- Indonesia
- Ireland
- Isle of Man
- Israel
- Italy
- Ivory Coast
- Jamaica
- Japan
- Jersey
- Jordan
- Kazakhstan
- Kenya
- Kiribati
- Kuwait
- Laos
- Latvia
- Lesotho
- Liechtenstein
- Lithuania
- Luxembourg
- Macao
- Madagascar
- Malawi
- Malaysia
- Maldives
- Mali
- Malta
- Mauritania
- Mauritius
- Mayotte
- Mexico
- Moldova
- Monaco
- Mongolia
- Montenegro
- Montserrat
- Morocco
- Mosambique
- Myanmar/Burma
- Namibia
- Nauru
- Nepal
- Netherlands
- Netherlands Antilles
- Niger
- Nigeria
- North Macedonia
- Norway
- Oman
- Pakistan
- Palau
- Panama
- Paraguay
- Peru
- Philippines
- Poland
- Portugal
- Puerto Rico
- Qatar
- Romania
- Rwanda
- Saint Kitts and Nevis/St. Christopher
- Saint Lucia
- Saint Martin
- Saint Pierre and Miquelon
- Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
- San Marino
- São Tomé and Príncipe
- Saudi Arabia
- Senegal
- Serbia
- Seychelles
- Sierra Leone
- Singapore
- Slovakia
- Slovenia
- Solomon Islands
- South Africa
- Spain
- Sri Lanka
- St. Helena
- Suriname
- Swaziland
- Sweden
- Switzerland
- Taiwan
- Tajikistan
- Tanzania
- Thailand
- Timor-Leste
- Togo
- Trinidad and Tobago
- Tunisia
- Turkey
- Turkmenistan
- Turks And Caicos Islands
- Uganda
- United Arab Emirates
- United Kingdom
- Uruguay
- Usbekistan
- Vatican City
- Venezuela
- Vietnam
- Wallis and Futuna
- Zambia
- Zimbabwe
I don't like the Look!
Tragic. Not everyone is destined for greatness or good taste. Keep at it, and maybe one day your wardrobe will hit harder than your cuts.
I have an Idea for a Design!
Fantastic. Toss your idea into this form. A description is enough. We’ll definitely look at it, but no promises.
Only the ideas that truly appeal to us and actually match our style will be forged into shirts. The rest gets joyfully sacrificed to the void.
We do run tests and votes on new designs, and if you want to be a part of that circus, join our newsletter.
Is this a Joke?
No. Unlike your footwork skills, we actually exist and are selling real shirts.
